So We're Saying Good-Bye?

I was brushing my teeth at Brittany's house in SLO thinking "Brittany and I should take a picture in front of her cute house before she moves and it's not her house anymore and I officially have no "college friends" left in my college town."

When I leave SLO today, I'll be saying goodbye to a connection I've enjoyed for the past 8 years.

Imagining how Brit and I would get a picture of the two of us in front of her house... with no one else here... reminded me of saying goodbye to Seth a month ago. Helping him jam the last bits of his crap (no offense Seth) in his little blue car, saying bye to Hoki and bye to a home life I'd grown to love. And yes, handing my helpless camera over to an incompetent yet well-intentioned senior citizen. But I digress..

"So... Huh. Two big goodbyes." So then I started going through the mental files. Had to say goodbye to Kimm on her (surprise) last day at IPS a month ago (same weekend as Seth.. I think). I walked out to meet her when she got there, played music in her office as she packed, helped her carry all her boxes to her car and said I love you when I hugged her.

Then I said goodbye to IP Solutions. My first "big girl job" out of college. A small team of professionals who took care of me when I was at my lowest. Who never once stopped looking out for me. Even as I walked away. Amazing.

And on top of that, I went to Walnut Creek the other day and spent a few days with Amy. My girl. We went through her closet to see what clothes she didn't need to pack. I'm saying goodbye to Amy?!?

All together now: It's the end of an ERA!

And remember, this was all being thought as I'm brushing my teeth. So I caught my reflection in the mirror and said to myself with my eyes, "Why so many goodbyes right now?!" My eyes responded by filling up with tears.

But this is life, you know? I'll never not have to say goodbyes. Ever. This will keep happening. It's the ebb with the flow (or maybe the flow with the ebb?). Life and Death. Coming and Going. Laughing and Crying. Loving and Hurting. One without the other is impossible. Get used to it, kid.

And how lucky am I that these goodbyes are not forever. They're goodbyes to the familiar, the comfortable, the loving and protective.

And what that really means is I'm creating space for new experiences, new comforts, love and protection. Growth and learning. Hello. Welcome.