Remember it was an apple

remember it was eating an apple
that caused us as a race of people to be cast out of paradise.

so maybe that same knowledge that was so evil early on
in mankind's story
remains evil.

and each time we take a bite
of this technological apple
we move further from the garden that was our home
and deeper into the hell that is our current Want.

















said by an interesting, seemingly really smart guy on MacHeads; a documentary about Apple Fanatics.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/94300/macheads?c=3036:3098

You'll see him waiting in line for the iPhone. And I'm tying this on a MacBook. And I'll probably get an iPhone one of these days. Want. Want. Want.

Replacements

Sometimes, you just know that

~it's time~

Let go of that which no longer serves you

or that which you can no longer drive
because it's a stick shift and your ankles are now delicate

January 2008
Bye bye Acura, hello Honda

or that which you tried your hardest to love and keep alive but then had to admit that it was beyond saving.

February 2010
Bye bye Miss O, hello new Orchid who probably won't get a name.

be kind to yourself

why don't i treat the girl on the right
the way i would treat the girl on the left.

why don't we take care of ourselves
the way we would take care of our younger selves.

picture yourself as a 3-year old.
upset at herself because she did something wrong.
how important would it be to you
to make her realize
"hey, it's ok."

same person. same heart.
love it.
♥
kindness. patience. compassion. awareness. breath.
try it.

on my path alone

you're asking to come in here
but there's not enough room there
in my heart
is the intention to
explore but not decide
investigate but not resolve
to sniff around
but not to stick around.
to like you
but not love you.
to show you
but not involve you.
to love you
but not revolve around you.
to learn
but not believe you.
to walk beside you but
wander from you
and keep going
on my path alone
for now.

I wrote this poem back in May-ish last year.
I didn't stick with this plan. At all. I never do.

I let us get too far.
And I ended up sad.

I let my heart go where it shouldn't have.

And it ended up broken.

I'm still trying to be alone.
But boys keep on creepin on...

people try and console me these days by saying,
"Oh that's good you're not looking for anyone
That's when you find someone."
I don't to find anyone!
I don't want any distractions.
I'm focused.
Focusing.
On my path.

alone.
for now.

Like tick, tick

When I was new at my current job, I would listen to my counterpart (who had been doing my job for several months by then) and think, "Oh wow, she really knows what she's talking about."

I would sit on phone calls with another co-worker and think "Good thing she's on the phone right now. I'd have no idea what to do with this conversation."

Today I was on a call with one of our newest hires (who I've been training). I found myself dominating the meeting. I IM'ed her, "Sorry, I'll shut up. I don't want to run your call." She said "No please. Don't shut up. I need you."

I understood the bottom-line objective of what we needed to sort out on that call of over 12 people and I just made it happen. Owned it.

.....

Trying to apply this to my current job nerves. I did it once, I'll do it again. Patience Sarah, Patience.

This picture though, is what inspired me to write this post. This was our IM conversation after the meeting. A picture can say so much more than words sometimes.

And this is a picture OF words. Double-whammy.
Good night. Go me.

And off you go

Finally got rid of that damn sweatshirt.
Finally looked him in the eye and
Finally let the situation speak for itself.
Finally listened.

I walked down to my front steps where I left him waiting. We talked about yoga, I felt adorable. I looked at him lovingly and said "Well, that's... that.... then."

No ill will.
Awareness. Kindness. Compassion.

Thank you for taking the last piece of you out of my life.
Thank you for leaving.