the playa did provide

2007

2011

dreams...

I need to get that dead girl's body to her family.

I need to get the girl driving the car to either duck or change directions.

I need to get rid of the guy on the other side of that door, and get OUT of that damn garage.


I love how my brain works.

-excerpt from journal; March - August 2009

4 years ago today.

May, 2007.

The experience:

• The story
• Some pictures
• Gory details

Side effects:

• I see it everywhere
• I feel it everywhere
• I'm scarred

The lessons:

• Slow movement is still movement
• Do what you can
• Gotta work it out
• Be Grateful
• Take a second to realize what's going on around you
• You're not invincible. Be careful

May, 2011.

...what broken body?

Literal it is not.

Dear Sarah,
You should use caution when traveling; slow down around curves and watch your rear in an upcoming trip or journey, and be prepared for unforeseen obstacles like a road block or re-routing of traffic.

Like vast cracked ice

Sing out, sing out
Silence only eats you from the inside out.
I meant no harm
but I only get to say these words too late.



Send your lifeboats
out for me.

London calling.

Put an ocean and a river
Between everybody else,
Between everything, yourself, and home

Put an ocean and a river
Between everything, yourself, and home

RSVP.

I'm turning 30 this year. I think I'm going to have professional pictures (of myself) taken, have my favorite 3 pictures turned into a magnet, send everyone in my life that magnet so they remember on which day I turn 30.

Then I'll go to Nordstrom and pick out all the clothes I think I'll need for this next phase of my life and tell you all when that list is ready. Then I'll spend the next 6 months of my life planning and stressing and seat-charting. Then I'll wear a really expensive dress that's not my style, tell the friends I like more than my other friends to also buy and wear dresses they'd never wear otherwise (matching each other, duh), walk down between two sections of white fold out chairs holding dying flowers, stand in front of everyone I know and love and be blessed by a stranger reading out of a binder who tells me, after I promise to obey, that I may now begin my 30th year.

I can't wait.

Please don't forget my birthday present. I'll need something to do once the planning is over, so returning everything will help pass the time.

dream talk

had a dream i found my perfect french bulldog puppy. then when i started petting and playing with it, it turned out it wasn't a french bull dog at all.

my dreams are so obvious these days. it's like they're not even trying to be mysterious.

what exactly this is referring to in my life is a bit unclear though. we shall see!
but let's end this on a happy note while we all look at this face: